rebirth

"we fail to trust that we knew ourselves to be possible from the very beginning" - Binyavanga Wainaina

i call upon my past selves and they rise to join me 

we are writing a new story, one in which my worth is stored in the marrow of my bones, intrinsic and untouchable 

[ we inhale ]

and as we exhale the doubt rises and takes its leave 

i have known myself to be possible from the very beginning 



i call upon my divinity and she manifests with her hand in mine 

we dance across the room casting away the shadows with our radiance 

singing hymns of joy, of gratitude, of new beginnings

in this house i am placing love on the table, i am hanging it on the curtain rods, i am adding it to every meal and fitting it into every vase

i know love is here because i put it here

because i speak it, i see it, i make it a part of everything i do 



i steal sunlight and smear it across my walls 

i send my laughter chasing its echo down the hallway 

i pour a river of my tears into the bathtub until it overflows then turn away and leave it to drain off all that i'm letting go of

i birth myself again within these walls and allow myself to howl until my lungs spring open and i am filled anew 



i dress myself in self acceptance and adorn myself with healing

i chain the jewels of my ancestors around my neck, coil them around my fingers and with each one i am reminded of the long line that walks behind me 

bracelets hang from my wrists, resurrecting long forgotten melodies as they beat against each other with every movement 

i am accented with gold, studded through my ears and cuffed around my nose 

and where it catches the sunlight they grab onto each other and dance through the air, bathing my aura in ethereal light 

nascence spills out of my navel and hugs my waist, it slips down my thighs tracing promises (of possibility) as it goes 

around my ankle lies a nyarũrũnga restoring my body it's grace, it's innocence 

each step i take becoming a song of celebration 

i am made whole again, come and rejoice with me 



through all this Life leans against my counter, watching me remember, eager to offer me all it has 

the table is laden and forgiveness has come to collect what no longer belongs here

blooming flowers spring where my feet touch solid ground

and the wind carries the voices of my ancestors to my doorstep, bearing harmonies of homecoming, of rebirth

nī mũka gũcũgia mwana


a rebirth of self 

i remember myself to be possible, i knew it from the very beginning